Thursday, April 24, 2014

CLIVEN BUNDY WANTS YOU TO KNOW WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT "THE NEGRO" (and it's pretty much what you would expect from ignorant bigots and those who would support him...)

A hero any red-blooded Republican could love...                                  

         Just in case anyone out there didn't already know what type of asshole Cliven Bundy and his heavily armed pals really are, he's cleared up any confusion on the matter.

         Here's what he had to say about "the Negro", according to this article:

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” he said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, “and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.
“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he asked. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

           It takes a special kind of prick to suggest slavery as a remedy for unemployed welfare recipients, and an even bigger asshole to say blacks abort their kids because they never learned how to pick cotton.

          Confirming this shithead's true character didn't take much digging.  All that was needed was a willingness to listen to his ignorant ass... And he's got lots of people listening to him, now that he's a hero to folks who agree with comments like these. 

          So how will Sean Hannity spin this latest Bundy backlash?  Remember, Sean and Faux News were Cliven Bundy's biggest supporters during his tense standoff with federal and state authorities.

          Hannity will probably deflect the negative attention by backing up under his rock like the crawfish he is, denying that he ever supported Cliven Bundy in the first place.  He will probably announce that he was only supporting Bundy's "freedoms" or some such shit.

           This is what happens to people like Hannity, or anyone else who wants to jump to the defense of someone they really don't know anything about:  you can be tainted by association when your new "friend" shows the world his true colors.


Wednesday, April 23, 2014

MY DAUGHTER BLAMES ME FOR PASSING ALONG A SENSE OF HUMOR SHE CAN'T CONTROL... (hey, it's not my fault you've got a smart mouth!)

          My adult daughter and I share a few personality traits, and anyone who knows either of us would instantly recognize those shared connections.  For one thing, we both have problems with folks who consider themselves "authority figures", especially those who haven't earned that title by anyone's estimation.  I like to tell people she was born middle finger first, although I'm pretty sure that's not exactly how she made her arrival. 

          Several years ago she made a habit of obtaining, and then losing, a series of menial jobs in the fast food service industry, usually because of her refusal to take unnecessary shit from managers or customers.  In that regard, we differ slightly.  I kept a job I hated at a factory for thirty-five years, despite multiple temptations to flip off a boss or bitch-slap someone who desperately needed it... proof (somewhat) of some degree of self restraint on my part. 

           But my daughter lacks that "you better shut the hell up" gene.  A customer at one restaurant pushed her buttons one evening when she wasn't feeling particularly chipper, and my daughter's smartass reply cost her that job.  Asked if the "patty melt on the menu is going to be warm", she replied, "The word warm ought to be a clue, ma'am."

           Sounded reasonable, to me.  But then, most of her termination stories went that way.  Everything would be fine, until... someone tried to act like her boss, or one too many customers simply demanded a verbal rebuke.  It was always something minor.

           But she's gone back to school, acquired a Masters degree, and she's probably the best writer you've never read.  If anyone is bold enough to publish one of her novels, you can tell people you heard about her here, first.  I have no doubt you'll know her name well one of these days.  She's that talented.

           At this very moment, she's waiting for the contractions to start.  Her due date is still a week away, but she insists her little bundle of joy isn't going to hang around in the oven much longer.  It's her first child, and will be my first grandchild upon arrival.  We're excited.  Sort of.  I mean, I'm cool with the grandchild thing, but don't really think I'm in any way old enough (maturity-wise) to be someone's grandfather.  Grandfathers are supposed to be wise, solid individuals a kid looks up to for advice.  I'm still looking around for advice, myself.  As Paula Poundstone once said, "The reason adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up, is because we're looking for ideas!"

            Anyway, I called my daughter in Virginia yesterday and asked how she was doing.  She gave me an update on the last ultrasound, let me know what my soon-to-arrive grandson's name would be, and then told me the story that is the basis for this post. 

            Seems she and the baby's dad were taking a tour of the birthing center where this is all scheduled to take place, and the elderly nurse who was showing them around gave them an inspirational little speech about how much she loved her job, saying, "Every day I watch the world change.  Every birth changes the world.  Just think!  The next child born might turn out to be the next Mother Teresa!"

             And that's when my daughter blurted out something she instantly regretted saying:

             "Yeah... or Hitler."

             She said this woman's face just dropped, and she stood there in stunned silence processing the comment.

             "Dad, this sense of humor you've passed along isn't always a good thing!  I don't know why I said Hitler!  Of all the names I could have said, why Hitler?  She just looked so sad..."

               That grandson of mine is going to have his hands full trying to get over on his mom.  And I'm looking forward to watching that process as it works itself out.  God knows, she gave me and her mom fits.  I figure the Hooey Gods owe her at least five or ten years worth of grief for all the gray hair she put on MY head...

               (Here's a link to a previous story about this child from when she was but a baby herself.  It was the first time she scared the hell out of me, for what it's worth...)



Tuesday, April 22, 2014

HANNITY HYPOCRISY ON DISPLAY (but I repeat myself...)

            This pretty much sums up the hypocrisy of Faux News Channel's Sean Hannity. He's a law-and-order kinda guy when it comes to welfare cheats or illegal immigrants, but when a guy violates federal law, loses his case in court, then has armed thugs (who think of themselves as Patriots) show up to sacrifice the women and children first, well.... at that point, Hannity's all about pickin' and choosin' which laws we oughta follow. Why this sanctimonious asshat even has a microphone and an audience baffles me...

            I believe he takes this position because the Tea Party idiots support this welfare moochin' rancher's position, and the Tea Party is basically a Faux News-Koch Brothers creation. If this rancher was a black man or an immigrant freeloading on government land, and if an army of heavily armed black men or immigrants showed up to confront law enforcement officers, Hannity and Faux News would be calling for the National Guard to call in an Apache attack helicopter strike. He's a total hypocrite.

Monday, April 21, 2014

BEN WATT AND DAVID GILMOUR (because some things need to be shared...)

        David Gilmour could make anyone's music better, but what he does on this cut by Ben Watt (from the band Everything But the Girl) is so subtle and minimalistic, it's a thing of beauty.  Crank it up, sit back, enjoy. 

        You're welcome.


Sunday, April 20, 2014


(This was originally posted on April 7th, of 2012, two Easters ago, by my calendar... I saw this plane pulling the "He is Risen" banner over Murfreesboro yesterday as we sat in the local hospital Emergency Room with my mother-in-law, and today I pondered a search through my external hard drives for these photos I took at the time, two years ago.  Lo and Behold, if you'll pardon the Biblical language, I Googled "He is Risen" plane banner and two of my photos and a link to this original blog post were among the top three images offered.  Cool...   I'm reposting this because it struck me as an incredibly expensive promotional stunt by a local mega-church at the time, and it still seems a tad extravagant today.  Hope you'll forgive me for any religious blasphemies included in this post.  I was a bit more outspoken at the time...)

           (first of all, hope you'll forgive the shitty pictures... they were taken from the open window of a car I was driving... and I apologize to anyone I ran off the road as these were taken... ahem)

           There's something to be said for pagan traditions.  Of all of the Christian hollerdaze we celebrated at our house when I was a kid, Easter was probably my favorite.  Christmas was too long in coming and seemed to always be an overwhelming experience.  But Easter just popped up in the middle of the transition from winter to spring every year, and involved dyeing eggs and eating lots of candy.  Of course, we had to go to church for a special Mass at Easter, but hey, every silver lining has a cloud or two...  The candy part of the deal always reminded me of Halloween, except you didn't have to go door to door dressed like an idiot begging for crap.  An Easter Bunny delivered the shit to your living room during the night.  We never knew why, exactly, but who's going to argue with a huge load of candy?
            But Easters as an adult aren't fun at all, unless you have little kids in the house and can help them get rid of boiled eggs and chocolate rabbits.  Without the candy, it's just some religious holiday that kinks up the usual TV schedule.
            The reason I'm thinking of Easter isn't because I just saw King of Kings in its annual rerun broadcast (even though the theme song from that movie is AWESOME!!!)  I'm thinking of Easter because I almost ran off the road on my way home from shooting two high school baseball games due to a banner plane that was flying low near the highway, and that plane's banner read, "HE IS RISEN" and had the name of a mega-church here in town.
             Seeing a plane pulling a banner to draw attention to a religious holiday and a local church made me wonder about Christians and their mission on Earth.  Obviously, atheists don't have money lying around in collective pools for things like sponsoring planes with banners.  If we did gather up all our resources, we probably wouldn't vote to sponsor a plane... and we'd never agree on the banner's message.  Probably something like, "SUPPORT SUNDAY LIQUOR SALES", because we can't buy liquor on Sundays in Tennessee.  And I'm pretty sure that's God fault, or at least, I'm blaming it on his fan club.
             Anyway, no telling how many people that church could have fed or clothed or ministered to in Honduras if they'd been a little more judicious with their funds.  But I also realize that more than a desire to spread the gospel was in play with that flying advertisement today.  They're also spreading the word about their church with that sign.  I assume they want people to see the sign, remember the Biblical meaning of the day, and then say, "Hey, you know what?  I think I'll go check out that big ass church 'cross town, the one that has an air force!  Hey Edna, grab yer coat and let's go see if they've got a blimp!"
             And more members means a bigger pot of money for spreading the gospel next Easter.
             There might even be a little left over for feeding the homeless or helping out with free medical care for the needy.
             Or airplane fuel.  Whatever works.

             And by the way... that's the same local mega-church that has helped sponsor some of the anti-Islamic Center protests here in Murfreesboro, and is the same church that hosted a recent seminar for our county sheriff's deputies to help them learn how to identify and deal with the threat of Islam in our community.  Just so you know their motives are pure...

            Here's Eddie Izzard trying to explain the relationship between the crucifixion of Christ and the chocolate eggs we get at Easter: